Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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