i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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