just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize