My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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