Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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