oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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