Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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