Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
