My liver just broke up with me...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
