Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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