I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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