Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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