We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
