just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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