I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
