WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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