please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
