do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
