i can't believe i had my finger in that
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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