So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
