i already hear my dad disowning me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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