I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
