She's JV to your varsity
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
