I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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