He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Randomize
