Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
