So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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