Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
