I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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