spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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