I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
