You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
