Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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