I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
