Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
whose ass print is on the piano?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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