Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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