I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
