there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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