Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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