I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
