It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
