I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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