I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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