Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
