Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
