O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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