Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
