i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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