In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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