Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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