is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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