how can u be prego again
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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