Will you blow on my dice?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
