I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
