do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
