My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
