Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
