If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
