The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
