she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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