now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I would fuck him just for his dog
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
