It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
COCAINE IS GR8
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
