he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
