Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I am available for nakedness
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
