I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
