this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
